tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65444513083461816812024-02-19T05:07:19.193-05:00Confessions of a Hope Fiend....or an unguarded moment....gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.comBlogger70125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-23885090523666836042011-10-22T13:14:00.004-04:002011-10-22T13:33:52.492-04:00Standing in the Wrong LineWhen I am shopping in a store and I position myself at the checkout line to purchase my items I always seem to get in the wrong line. I try to gauge and guess which line is going to move the fastest but I always seem to guess the wrong one.<br />I repeat my mantra "this is a test of patience" and dial myself back a few notches, "no biggie". I hate to admit it but while trying to bide my time I'll peruse the handy magazine racks to read the celebrity gossip on Brad and Angelina, or some other celeb.<br />What usually holds up the line is also a guessing game. I try to look the other way, feigning indifference, not register any emotion. Yes, I have been in the position where it is one of my items that requires a price check. When it is me, I usually turn to the people waiting in line and make a lame apology. Sometimes this reminds me of the need for civility among strangers. If I exercise patience maybe others will also. I'm not sure if this a mistake in logic but by modeling the desired behavior perhaps it will lead others to be kind.<br />There are definite "vibes" I pick up on from other people. One of the biggest is lack of awareness, how their behavior might effect others. Is this related to intelligence or manners? I think it can be a lot of both.<br />All I know, is when I'm waiting in line to buy stuff, it doesn't take that much effort to give the person in front a little space, and act a little polite, it is not a direct affront to me personally. Stop being in such a hurry and be nice once in awhile to other people.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-63669443135486456632011-10-05T22:32:00.006-04:002011-10-05T22:52:02.641-04:00LauraI've been thinking alot lately of my late mother. She died around this time of year and that always raises poignant and sometimes painful memories of family and childhood. We are the sum of our experiences so it is better to acknowledge this rather than bury it.<br />I'm going to tell you something that I have not shared with another living soul. I was with my mother at her death. I had never witnessed death before and so you really do not know what to expect. You see it at the movies but you know it's not real. When someone dies it is sometimes a slipping away and hopefully peaceful.<br />That day I tried to feed my mother yogurt and some banana. What a foolish thing to try and accomplish when there are only short hours left. Maybe I was in denial and thought the food would give her strength and she would live. It's just part of my memory now.<br />I bent over and whispered to her that I was there. My emotions were all over the place, being alone, not wanting her to die alone. I guess it is a daughter's duty to hold her mother's hand as she lay there dying. Believe me, I knew this was something that I would play back over and over as time goes by but I trust that what I saw has not been altered by time.<br />I philosophized about how death is a reminder to us of the preciousness of life.<br />She marshaled strength near one of her last breaths, sat upright and raised her fist. I do not know if it was to signal anger or perhaps victory. I guess I'll never know. I know it is something I'll never forget nor the memories of the life she had which at times was a struggle. A child remembers things thru their own child like perception so the accuracy of my recollections has had years to ferment into what I think happened. Even if some of it was true.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-18352279844065130382010-06-16T22:45:00.005-04:002010-06-16T23:13:19.385-04:00blogging retrospectiveThe blogging world has its own reality which I have gradually been learning over time. There seem to be sub-cultures that have their own unique followings. Some people just like to post pictures of their family and have cute fluffy posts about muffins and kittens. I'm not sure they are what my blogger circle would really be interested in. I've seen some of my favorite blogs grow stagnate yet others continue in their proliferation, often reinventing themselves like our friend Michael R. from "The Psyche of Mikey". I know sometimes it is difficult to be spontaneous or to come up with new ideas to write about as I myself seem to be going through a bit of an uninspired phase, probably because my brain has been a bit fried at work lately or I'm just busy living life. Sometimes I just need to veg out. Okay, I confess I've been distracted by facebook lately, even as I say "I hate it". It is the lazy man's blog, short and sweet and oh so superficial, doesn't take much effort and always receiving immediate gratification. But I digress here because recently Michael has given my blog an award for substantive writing. I guess I do make that effort to be genuine and less motivated by what other people think so it allows me the ability to be real, no excuses, no apologies. So to Michael thank-you.<br />I've been asked to sum up my philosophy about blogging, my motivation and experience using only five words, so here goes:<br /><br />IT'S REALLY ABOUT BEING YOURSELF.<br /><br />Although I wish I could honor the true spirit of the award by passing it on to ten others I'm not sure there are ten other blogs that I follow regularly enough to know their writings and to do them justice. Some of my favorite bloggers have not been that active lately, for various reasons. I guess sometimes life may take precedence at times or for reasons unknown. I guess maybe that is a sign I need to be more active about following other people's blogs and maybe finding some new ones, but that takes time. ( My apologies for flaking out on passing things on. )gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-8538305936632434062010-06-08T20:31:00.004-04:002010-06-08T20:55:30.380-04:00PrejudiceI've begun to collectively realize that as human beings we all possess a certain level of prejudice which we may not even realize at times even exists. Of course there are the obvious ones about race and skin color, but let's not forget religion, both of which wars have been fought over.<br /><br />Sometimes we inadvertently " out" ourselves with out realizing when we make generalizations regarding certain groups of people. The economically challenged are often part of a disenfranchised group with no voice or power in our society. I'm talking about poor people. They get no respect as Rodney Dangerfield would say. Most of us just treat them like they are invisible.<br /><br />Developmentally disabled people used to be locked away in asylums, treated like defectives, until Geraldo Rivera published Willowbrook and exposed the way the severely mentally retarded and physically disabled individuals were being treated.<br /><br />I've heard comments directed at fat people that they should just stop eating or somehow they are just "weak".<br /><br />I've heard people stereotype Asians and the way they make jokes about their driving abilities.<br /><br />I've heard people refer to individuals with mental health issues being "crazy". I believe this has more to do with ignorance and fear.<br /><br />I'm commenting about this right now because I just spent the last five days with my family and close friends and realized how sensitive I have grown about the way people refer to other groups of individuals in such negative ways and I don't even think they are aware sometimes of how they sound. Let me further say that I rail against political correctness so there is a certain level of dissonance I experience regarding the whole thing but have concluded that people's ignorance can sometimes lead them down the wrong path of generalizing.<br /><br />Are you really aware of what your own prejudices might be?gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-12719821916499964002010-05-01T09:51:00.005-04:002010-05-01T10:54:41.987-04:00The Fashionista SpeaksDo you ever wonder how some women's sense of fashion can be a disaster yet other's seem to make it look effortless and always seem to look good. Well, news flash, looking well put together does take effort. I realized awhile ago that if I wanted to look halfway presentable I would need to focus a bit more on some basic rules which I formulated after witnessing some mistakes made by my contemporaries. For the working women dressing the part regarding your employment or career should be taken somewhat seriously, not necessarily fastidiously, but at least take a rational look at what your job description requires and the work setting.<br /><ul><li>Unless you work in a bar or nightclub you shouldn't look like a cocktail waitress who lost their way trying to find their office. That means wearing see through shirts, and short mini-skirts are not really appropriate for a professional setting. No one wants to see your bra straps either or your bra showing through your blouse. If you are aging into your forties or fifties you are going to look like a desperate women seeking attention.(Oh yeah, and wearing a bra is mandatory for the girls).</li><li>When the warm weather is here,it is not permission to look like you are going to the beach instead of your office. I love wearing flip flops for casual outings or around the house but I think this should be avoided in an office setting unless they are dressy type sandals. If you are going to show your toes, splash a bit of paint on them. Let's face it, not many of us have perfect looking feet, so no one wants to be treated to the sight of gnarly toes and bunions.</li><li>I realize younger women very rarely wear nylons anymore and I don't really have a problem with that especially on a very hot day. Just look at what you are wearing, and if it involves wearing a suit, wearing nylons might perhaps give a more finished look, especially if attending a meeting outside the office. ( By the way, wearing knee highs under a long skirt is a major fashion faux paux.)</li><li>I have a major issue with showing too much cleavage. Some men would probably insist there is no such thing as too much cleavage. In the office I think you may have difficulty being taken seriously or thought of as some type of bimbo if you are displaying the girls as a way of looking sexy. If there is a man you are interested in save it for after work because office romance is way too complicated and could derail you chances for professional advancement.<br /></li><li>We're not in the sixties anymore so shaving your legs and armpits should be a no brainer. I have a visceral reaction when I see hairy body parts on my women peers. Forget about "hippie chic" it's more like "hippie eek!". It also doesn't hurt to do a little plucking and shaping of the eyebrows, and applying some facial makeup to hide some of the blotches and irregular areas.</li><li>We have a dress down day in our office now on Friday's. This has turned into dress down every day and no one seems to care about whether there is a dress code anymore. I think it is fine to wear jeans to the office as long as you are not looking like you are going out to pull weeds out of your garden or clean the garage. There are so many fashion programs on the television now that show the fashion challenged how to mix and match their clothes. It is possible to look quite nice in a pair of well fitting stylish jeans, sans muffin tops, with a cute jersey or top.</li><li>When I go out to the stores on the weekends to do my errands I take a look in the mirror at myself just to check before I leave my house. I am not going to wear something that is soiled or covered in lint. Actually, I think athletic clothing can be quite acceptable however, women with big rear ends wearing tight stretch pants is a horror show. I have actually flown on planes in a cute (matching) jogging or athletic suit. I have discovered that comfort is important but do not want to look like I am on my way to the gym.</li><li style="text-align: justify;">It's important to dress your age. I think it is totally pathetic to see a women in her forties or fifties trying to squeeze into junior size or style clothing. Even if someone has a nice figure trying to look like a teenager or a "twenty something", just looks desperate. I won't say that older women should dress "frumpy", I just think age appropriate clothing is much more attractive.<br /></li><li style="text-align: justify;">So now you know that I'll be taking notes and watching, just kidding. I am not as superficial as this might sound but there is no excuse for looking like you just rolled out of bed and look like a rumpled mess or a hippie prostitute looking for a date at a cocktail lounge.<br /></li></ul>gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-5341214786757045962010-03-29T20:05:00.007-04:002010-03-29T20:32:21.789-04:00Buccolic LandscapeSpring tends to introduce itself in stages up here in Northern New York. We've had a few very nice seasonable days however it does not mean that we are done with old man winter. There are remote areas where the dense trees do not allow for the sunlight to sneak its way in to the shadows of the dark forest and stubborn patches of snow remain resolute to the last vestiges of winter.<br /><br />The stark trees still naked of spring buds. The tree bark evident of the deep color charcoal. The deer still display their winter colored coats with no sign yet of a lighter hue of golden brown. The robins are persistent in their daily cheer leading of coaxing spring. The soft muck in the driveway threatening to suck up one's impractical high heel shoe. The nearby brook running rough from the thaw of winter, hearing its clamorous cachophony.<br /><br />The raw wind still capable of leaving a cold bite to the face. Collars turned up especially in the early morning. The damp feeling of rain that could easily turn to snow if the temperature allows to dip below freezing. Not yet time or practical to switch to lighter gear but soon the shedding of layers will hopefully be opportune.<br /><br />Maple sugar season. The maple trees donating their sap for the cause of gathering syrup by the farmer entrepreneur. Cold nights and warm days needed to encourage the giving of amber. Dented buckets with lids perched precariously from the tap waiting to be emptied. Long nights of boiling in the sugar shack. Boilers heated by natural wood.<br /><br />Time to take a promenade through the neighborhood and survey the early signs of spring!gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-2287927811770195702010-03-23T20:43:00.010-04:002010-03-23T21:31:21.096-04:00The Value of FriendshipGrowing apart from a friendship can be inordinately painful. Don't ever take a close friend for granted because if you do you or the other person may end feeling disappointed or experience hurt feelings. During my life time I have felt very fortunate to have maintained a few very close relationships with people whom I have known since early childhood. It isn't the quantity of friends, it is really all about the quality of the friendship. The commonality of experiences growing up with a best friend can cement that closeness over time even when people take different paths in life.<br /><br />A very old dear friend of mine that I have known since infancy who knows nearly everything personal about me and has seen and heard it all may no longer value our friendship as much as I have. Naturally people grow apart especially when geography becomes a factor. Attempts to keep in touch over the years sometimes have occurred during holidays or birthdays but now that seems to be happening less often too. Telephone chats seem to resort back to talking about things we did and said when we were kids and often sharing a memory of a humorous incident. E- mails often an attempt to stay connected yet long palpable lapses involving lost connectedness.<br /><br />We both had our share of challenges growing up in dysfunctional families and part of the reason we were able to get through some of it is because we had each other to turn to during some of the difficult times, not feeling so alone. We used to be able to finish each other's sentences now we have difficulty knowing what the other person is saying or what they really mean.<br />Misunderstanding and perhaps hurt feelings have fallen into an abyss of lack of communication.<br /><br />Perhaps I have made a fatal misassumption about realistic expectations on what friendship should mean. Once or twice a year I am able to return home to visit family and I truly make an effort to connect with close friends. I know they have busy lives and for them it might mean trying to fit in some time but I do so appreciate it when they make that effort. I guess maybe I miss some of them more than they miss me because I was the one who moved away. So naturally my feelings end up being hurt when it appears they seem to lack any sense of enthusiasm or excitement towards planning to get together socially. I really don't know how to interpret this other than to take it a bit personal since the last two times I have made it home for a visit my efforts to get together were thwarted.<br /><br />Maybe I need to be less sentimental about friendship and just accept that growing apart is no one's fault and despite years of growing up together sometimes you try to hang on and it just becomes increasingly difficult to maintain for one person or one reason or another.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-56978552919296235272010-03-01T20:13:00.009-05:002010-03-01T20:56:04.164-05:00Nationalism ?There were times in the not too distant past that I was reticent about disclosing my country of origin while travelling. I think it may have been shortly after the 911 terrorist attack that Americans did not always feel safe or welcome in some foreign lands. I warned my family as we travelled to "act like you are Canadian". I realized it is probably rather difficult to hide the fact that you are an American because apparently we are easy to spot, sometimes not for the right reasons either.<br /><br />While watching the Olympics on television over the past week or so I began to reach the conclusion that besides it being about sports and athletic achievement it appeared to reflect a nationalistic appetite which was sometimes bloated and gluttonous. ( I've heard that said about us Americans.) I think athletes have a right to rejoice and celebrate when they have won their event but as a country should we really take collective credit for their achievements. This sense of nationalism has grown exaggerated, misplaced and tiresome.<br /><br />The amount of money dedicated to supporting the various teams, coaches, equipment and travel is obscene. Why is it so very important for Russia to prove they are a great country by winning a medal in figure skating or for South Korea or China to prove they are superior by winning or going fast around an ice track or bobsled down a dangerous course? That does not necessarily prove they are a great country ( especially when it comes to their record on human rights).Don't misunderstand the point of my message. I am not suggesting we abolish the Olympics. I just think it needs to be put in the correct context. The competition should be about who is the best athlete not necessarily the best country. However, I think it is rather embarrassing trying to justify the amount of money spent on all of this when you consider the economic climate around the world and the existence of poverty, war, terrorism and the recovery from the disaster in Haiti.<br /><br />I found myself glued to the TV set on Sunday afternoon watching the USA vs Canada hockey game. It was an exciting hockey game and Canada seemed to need to prove they are superior to the US in hockey and the bragging rights associated with it. It was just a hockey game folks. I think some of us are a little bit mixed up about expressing our nationalism through the athletic activities associated with the Olympics.<br /><br />I am not a flag waving anthem singing resident of the United States and thankfully, I no longer feel I have to hide the fact I am an American while travelling.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-86475497594634219332010-02-13T20:35:00.005-05:002010-02-13T21:17:38.033-05:00food for the mindI feel compelled to read everyday as a way to nourish my mind. The power of imagination can be monumental. It reminds me of time travel, a journey to some where else based on the author's telling of his or her story. I sometimes covet those who have the talent of the written word and can construct a different reality where there was none before. The essence of creativity.<br /><br />I feel like I have been to many places in the world, and yes sometimes other worlds too. The descriptions of people, places and situations can feel uncannily real. Whether it is just to escape for a few moments in time or perhaps a bit of distraction, it doesn't really matter.<br /><br />I do not recall exactly when my appetite for books began to grow however I do recall joining a summer reading program at the town library that whetted my appetite when I was probably around age nine. We won little stickers every time we finished a book. During warm summer days when the tide was out at the beach I would find a shady tree and read my books and time would seem to melt into oblivion.... I think I went through quite a few books that summer and the librarian seemed incredulous about the level I was reading on.<br /><br />I have read my way through varied gendres yet still to this day I still enjoy science fiction and the early writings of Poe, Burroughs, and Lovecraft. I believe the imagination and creativity it takes to create these types of stories is amazing. Of course I cannot take the time here to list all my favorite authors and books because it is quite an eclectic collection which I continue to add to.<br /><br />I remember my mother once telling me "you will always have a friend by reading books". I think she may have been trying to tell me I would never be bored or lonely if I allowed my love of reading to sustain me. There have been times in my life when that fact was probably true. I've often joked with family and friends, you could drop me off on a deserted island with a box of books and it would take me awhile before I would begin to miss anyone.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-54953471026554026392010-02-03T20:41:00.007-05:002010-02-03T21:17:51.898-05:00NostalgiaI believe our minds can sometimes play a cruel trick on some of us. Memories can represent a slippery slope of inaccuracy. There are many fond memories I have of my years past but sometimes I wonder if over time they have morphed into my own version of reality rather than what really took place.<br /><br />Face Book has been an opportunity to re-connect with old friends and share memories of the good times growing up and commonality of experiences. But was it or is it really the good ol' days or just what my mind permits me to remember? Granted, I do have some painful memories of an awkward childhood, most of us do to some degree, I guess. But remembering the fun times is definitely where I'd rather be.<br /><br />We lose touch with our pals from a long time ago and there are often muddled reasons why, but people do drift at certain stages of their lives mostly because of different pursuits and life choices. We are not the same people we once were. (Thank goodness for that, REALLY!)<br /><br />So what was I like as a child? Definitely not a younger version of who I am now as an adult. I enjoyed a very active imagination which most likely involved a certain degree of escapism from family dysfunction. That is sometimes a painful subject but what I know is that over coming adversity can often become triumph. I do not think many of us had a perfect family life growing up and those who had something near that did not necessarily become a predictor of stability or achievement either.<br /><br />I was fortunate to grow up in a safe neighborhood where every one watched out for one another and children could play freely without worry. If we got hurt it was usually because we did something crazy or stupid. I remember spending alot of time playing outside with the other children and it involved alot of physical activity that constitutes "play". Do kids even know these days what play really is?<br /><br />Emotions play a major role in what we choose to remember. Unresolved issues, sometimes referred to as baggage can weigh us down but awareness of what we each struggle with and our tendencies can be a useful tool towards self understanding and self acceptance.<br /><br />I've read this over now and it sounds like a term paper for some Psych 101 course on Personality and Development. That was not my intent. I've just been thinking alot lately about past memories and sometimes find myself drifting into troubled waters. Could it just be my own existential journey of defining who I am or what I have turned out to be? For now though, I think I'll just enjoy reuniting with some old friends on FB and regale each other with funny things we did and trouble we got into, and maybe just leave it at that for now if at all humanly possible.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-25138215598339833022010-01-20T19:45:00.004-05:002010-01-20T20:25:46.181-05:00Hair today, gone tomorrowLife's embarrassing moments recently caught up with me. I admit there is a monumental fickle side of me which actually is not readily apparent. It involves my serial rotation of hair stylists over the past twenty years. I've lost count how many different ones there have been and my reasons for moving on and trying someone else were oddly superficial and capricious. Perhaps I just grew bored and wanted to try someone new. There was never any conflict or misunderstanding just my eventual disappearance and vanishing act. No explanation whatsoever, the girl has moved on.<br /><br />A disparate ideal that hair stylists seem to possess is the notion that their patrons will stay loyal to them. In my case I acknowledge a lack of fidelity, unabashed whim, wanting to see what the next cosmetician has to offer. Most of the hair dressers I have had were very nice and had pleasant personalities. Their only sin perhaps is allowing complacency to occur, familiarity leading to a less exciting <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">okayness</span> and loss of edgy excitement involving my tresses.<br /><br />So today I sneak out of work (official time off arranged), however it is so delicious to just walk out the door early to pamper oneself a tiny bit. I arrive at the hair salon and my stylist is just finishing up with her previous customer. There are always things to discuss and safe topics far from politics and religion to weigh in on including celebrity gossip and post holiday settling down of winter. I believe that a successful hair dresser probably has well developed social skills and allows their customer to ramble on and set the tone of the conversation. Nothing too involved, after all it is a beauty parlor. She gives me a nice hair cut which I acknowledge appreciably and leave a generous tip. Off I go and a stop at the local grocery store before I head for home to cook dinner.<br /><br />Who do I encounter in the grocery isle but my former hair dresser. She looks at me and smiles and behaves exceedingly polite and gracious at our unplanned rendezvous. We chat about the holidays, make small talk and rather quickly run out of nice things to say. I am absolutely mortified because it is quite evident by my well coiffed appearance I just left the hair salon. I stammer embarrassingly and we part. I appreciated her diplomacy but would have liked to apologize but then my explanation would have been altogether <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">awkward</span>. What can I say, "I just wasn't feeling it anymore".<br /><br />Coincidences like that are karma's way of keeping us on our toes, but let's not split hairs.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-31994199864944547642010-01-14T20:41:00.005-05:002010-01-15T17:21:27.728-05:00KNOWINGThere are different levels of awareness people possess, how they perceive others, and also how others perceive them. Some things are a matter of perception. We cannot continually go around always worrying about offending others or we'd be a neurotic mess. It also requires growing thick skin, or perhaps learning to be tolerant of others.<br /><br />The longer I exist on this planet the more amazed (and confused) I grow regarding the complexity of human behavior and emotions. We all have a lot to learn about ourselves and others. Be open, do not judge, ask yourself did someone intend to be inconsiderate and hurtful or are they just unaware. It is often hard to give someone feedback without hurting their feelings. How sensitive we all can be.<br /><br />We all have our issues, and they are different for each one of us. Awareness of what your issues are requires self knowledge; what kinds of things push your buttons. My list is long and I will not go into the details however most recently I seem to allow myself to be bothered most by "know it <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">alls</span>". I actually believe people might not even know when they are behaving that way and no one is likely to tell them, so how are they to know?gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-28429112463072960492009-12-30T21:09:00.003-05:002009-12-30T21:47:02.417-05:00HIGH BEAMSI do not like driving in the dark anymore. Apparently for some of us the aging process includes "night blindness".<br /> My employer allows workers to utilize flex time so we can set our own work schedules within certain guidelines. It gets dark very early up here in the forgotten land of Northern New York. By around 4:30 PM the long dismal shadows cast their dark blanket on the frozen tundra. Okay I'm exaggerating a little about the frozen tundra but this is the snow belt and the temperatures do dip into the subzero at times. So right now I am ending my workday at 4:oo so I can drive home before the light of day has completely faded into darkness. It sounds more than wimpy that I have begun to avoid night driving. I do it if I have to but the extent of it is now limited to familiar road ways near home.<br />I have experienced my fair share of white knuckle rides home during heavy snowfall and enjoyable it is not. I drive a Jeep Cherokee with four wheel drive which definitely helps keep me on the road but if it starts to snow really heavily and the visibility grows poor I slow down to 30 miles an hour so I don't end up in the ditch. Last year there were times when I was shaking by the time I slid into the driveway.<br />The other major danger is hitting a deer as they seem to enjoy bounding out of the woods without a cautious gaze to check if any machines are hurling toward them.It is prudent to focus peripheral vision along the roadsides for the telltale animal eyes. You know that expression "like a deer caught in the headlights!" People have actually been maimed and injured by flying deer carcasses landing on the hood of their vehicle smashing the windshield. I am not making this up nor exaggerating.<br />So here I am trying to drive home on the snow covered roads, slowing down to a cautious speed, vigilant in my quest to spot any stampeding deer when some yahoo in a large pickup truck decides he will try to pass me traveling 50 mph. Let 'em, as I spew a nasty epithet about their ancestry. I will lower my high beams as a courtesy and hope they have a safe trip home too.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-75892874862591909412009-12-11T23:33:00.005-05:002009-12-11T23:59:44.377-05:00New GlassesContacts are not for me. I realize it probably ages my appearance somewhat, however I have deluded myself into believing it makes me look smart. I have fairly good health benefits so I am able to get two pairs of new glasses every year. If you wear glasses every day it's nice to change what you look at in the mirror.<br /><br />At about age forty I was informed by my optometrist that I needed bifocals. I nearly had a fit right there in his office. I was not happy with the news. When people begin to realize they need to keep adding more distance between themselves and the reading material and their arms are not going to grow any longer it's time to give up and do what you have to do.<br /><br />I keep one pair as my office glasses and my second pair are the transition lenses that darken when you go outside in the sun. I love them but sometimes if you are going in and out of dark places and then back again into the sunlight it takes a little while for the lens color to adjust.<br /><br />I get frustrated sometimes about the tightness behind my ears bothering me after awhile, like right now. It is usually after wearing the same glasses all day so sometimes I reposition them over my ears and they will stay on. If I go have the glasses adjusted to fit looser then they are always slipping down my nose and if I bend over they fall off my face.<br /><br />So why don't I just get contacts or laser surgery? I've always had this aversion about anything going too close to my eyes. When my daughters were being fitted for their contacts I had to step outside the office because I couldn't bear to watch something being inserted in their eyes. So I doubt I'd ever be able to tolerate a Dr. or someone messing about with a laser beam. I guess I'll <span style="font-style: italic;">just have to keep wearing my old fashioned Ben Franklins</span>. I guess if it's good enough for Jordy LaForge it's good enough for me.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-62714006938242943182009-11-13T22:52:00.003-05:002009-11-13T23:29:24.910-05:00Crowd Control....the longer I live far away from the urban environment of the fast lane the less tolerance I have for crowds. Even in the rural area I reside in occasionally encountering a crowd becomes this challenge of who or what is going to piss me off. I realize I have issues with personal space but even taking that into account some people are just so unaware of their behavior that I wax incredulous.<br /><br />If a bunch of people are all walking in the same direction whether it is toward an exit or just the flow and momentum of the crowd do not stop abruptly to chat with people. Move to the side and avoid obstructing other people's paths. This would also include possessing the awareness that someone might be in close proximity and you should look around behind you before making a sudden move forwards, backwards, or sideways, not swing your arms around. If you accidentally bump someone offer a polite excuse me but honestly people do not seem to have any clue about this.<br /><br />If you are in a store browsing or intending to buy something be aware that someone else may have the same nearby intention, be purposeful or yield some space.. That would again require a level of awareness which isn't an unrealistic expectation while out in public. I will acquiesce and step away for someone who needs to reach for an item close by me on a shelf but do not reach over me. I swear one of these times I will bite someone like a rabid dog. I definitely feel like growling sometimes, grrrrr!<br /><br />Do not act loud or boisterous when there are other people close or nearby. I really do not want to hear about your argument with your mother or boyfriend or a joke about something inconsequential to me. Teenagers are notorious for this type of transgression and I will even be reasonable and take this into account and smile as I pass by but do not start laughing hysterically when I am an arms length away.Be aware of your immediate surroundings. Is that too much to ask.<br /><br />There are times when I have actually extended my arm out to protect myself from someone else who is unaware of my presence and is about to bump me. My facial expression tends to be a frozen smile with veiled annoyance. How can you not be aware of your immediate surroundings?<br /><br />Next week I will be traveling which will include being herded like cattle thru the security lines at the airport. I intend to be polite to my fellow travellers and would like the same behavior reciprocated but I think it will likely be a challange so maybe I should just take a chill pill and block out as much of the experience as I can. I will not cut into any lines and I hope no one does that to me or my frozen smile may crack or maybe I'll just start to growl. Oops I better not do that or someone from the TSA might think I'm losing it and jerk me out of line.<br /><br />Sometimes it is just necessary to rant. And oh by the way, get out of my way! I do not consider myself anymore important that the next person but behaving in a civil manner out in public is something people no longer seem to expect from one another.......gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-62760143014089007252009-10-25T20:41:00.005-04:002009-10-25T21:16:05.854-04:00Food is LoveI have been realizing over time that my love of cooking is really a way I show my love to family and friends. I love to prepare food that my family will enjoy and appreciate. When I don't feel like cooking I don't. There are times when I have worked all day and I'm not the least bit interested and thankfully my husband is usually able and willing to cook a meal. He has certain dishes he is good at making and he also enjoys cooking.<br /><br />I guess I consider it a labor of love. It is also a way to express my self creatively and try new recipes. Some will become part of my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">repertoire</span> and other not so delectable creations will be abandoned. Not everything has to be from scratch. There is nothing wrong with taking a few shortcuts. If company is coming though I tend to go all out and often times cook too much food but then there are always leftovers to pick at for a few days.<br /><br />I don't enjoy the cleanup from one of my cooking sessions but dirty pots and pans have to be dealt with. Actually, I'm a clean as you go person so I try not to let things pile up if possible.<br />Using a microwave is not cooking, it's reheating. Opening a can of something is not cooking. I confess I keep some frozen entrees in my freezer as backup especially when I don't feel like cooking.<br /><br />People rave about my spaghetti sauce and I will make a large batch and freeze some of it. I do not have one of those large freezers so I am somewhat limited by the space I have in our regular freezer compartment. Sometimes I will bake ahead for the holidays but have to be strategic about the space available.<br /><br />I like to make a pot of chili, including potato skins and chicken wings for the Super Bowl. Sometimes though I don't like to repeat myself so I'll go with crab cakes and Jambalaya.<br />At Christmas I tend to cook a turkey with all the traditional side dishes especially since we are usually away at Thanksgiving so I have to make up for that (according to my husband). I'm the only one that likes home made cranberry sauce but I make it anyway. I love to bake some holiday pies but I am not proficient at making pie crusts so I have a shortcut with a boxed mix crust.I usually make an apple pie and also blueberry and pumpkin. My holiday fudge has improved over the past couple of years.<br /><br />This past weekend the youngest daughter came home for a few days visit and she jokingly complained she tends to gain weight whenever she comes home so she is glad she doesn't have to live with us anymore or she'd be "huge". I cooked chicken enchiladas which I have made on several occasions and people always seem to like that dish. I do not make it overly spicy but my husband splashes on all kinds of hot sauces. I also baked some chocolate chip cookies and an apple pie. We had some guests for Sunday brunch including blueberry muffins, and chocolate chip pancakes. Now I have a refrigerator full of left overs which we will probably be eating a few days this week. I just do not like to waste food.<br /><br />I think I will probably take a few days off from cooking.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-48537863850298450712009-10-10T17:33:00.012-04:002009-10-11T15:40:16.911-04:00Fall Season<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_OvdRXk-bzW9xRVvOEydkrbEJ96PGMwlVQquN8unOJF3TeUMxGZXtuEJCKhpTWkZuXu07ZM8sQ-yo1h83ZwSggBepMj8Za66jJsrI8o6wb98SGL7hs75sZGS2UgszSWBQLFCNy7mWYdU/s1600-h/SKMBT_C35309032413052.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 274px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_OvdRXk-bzW9xRVvOEydkrbEJ96PGMwlVQquN8unOJF3TeUMxGZXtuEJCKhpTWkZuXu07ZM8sQ-yo1h83ZwSggBepMj8Za66jJsrI8o6wb98SGL7hs75sZGS2UgszSWBQLFCNy7mWYdU/s400/SKMBT_C35309032413052.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391121753286280370" border="0" /></a><br />If I were a poet I would scribe an ode to fall, but alas rhyme is not one of my explicit talents. I enjoy the ride to work everyday observing the changing colors of the leaves, vivid orange, fiery red, dazzling yellow. Sometimes I've let my attention wander to the vistas of the fields and stand of trees showing off their plumage of blazing hues along the sides of the road. I think the deer are in cahoots with fall because they are leaping and running all over the country side as I make my may to and from work. There are wild turkeys strutting their stuff across the nearby landscape. Unfortunately though there has also been momentous amounts of "road kill", little creatures mashed into the pavement who didn't quite make it across the road.<br /><br />The smell of fall is unique. Not quite the odor of dying vegetation, but a crispness in the air, frost's harbinger signaling time to rake the leaves and bring in the lawn furniture. Bright orange pumpkins, hearty mums set out on the front porch welcoming visitors to hearth and home.The near naked trees no longer hiding the house from the street. Soon it will be time to forage for the snow scraper and shovel in anticipation of the first early warnings of winter.<br /><br />Regretfully, there are some less hearty souls afflicted with the seasonal pattern of depression who look upon fall as the precursor of winter and all the challenges of frigid temperatures and the falling of snow. Either way it's time to snuggle up to the wood burning stove and reclaim the corduroys and sweaters packed away in their plastic bins in the attic.<br /><br />The children are now all grown up and I miss so much the excited preparations for Halloween. I so enjoyed planning and helping make the costumes, Freddy Krueger, witches and ghosts and of course a skeleton. Now all I have are pictures and remembrances of trick or treat.<br /><br />When I was a kid, I harbor fond memories of our families and neighbors efforts raking the leaves. My intent was always to build a large enough pile to jump and roll around in. My parents would burn the piles of leaves at the curb in front of our house and I can still recall the scent of the burning leaves and my friends and I nearly scattering the orderly piles by our playing and then having to scoop them up again so they could be incinerated. The smoke never seemed to bother my eyes, instead enjoying fantasies of sending smoke signals to the Indians.<br /><br />It's time to drag out the crock pot and concoct a hearty stew or soup. A little baking will be done and the confections frozen for the Thanksgiving holiday. The warm heat from the kitchen stove will be comforting as the nights begin to grow chilly and no complaints about there being brownies or muffins to eat.<br /><br />Fall is the season that is a prelude to the long cold winter. A time to read books, sewing projects and of course free time to devote to the technological muse of the computer.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-59921810890858280472009-09-23T20:31:00.008-04:002009-09-23T20:58:51.096-04:00The Skill of People WatchingObserving visual cues are a very important aspect regarding our perceptions and observations about our world. We all probably have some level of skill observing people's body language however some of us have more skill than others. Anecdotally, I find those who lack that specific awareness as probably the most capable of annoying others (or myself).<br /><br />When some one's posture is stiff or rigid it can mean many things including someone who might be experiencing pain or discomfort or perhaps feeling some level of frustration or tension. Further clues would include facial grimace or a tight clench of the fist. Maybe it's time to run in the other direction but first look at the eyes because that can often be the telltale sign of reading the emotion or by looking at the person's facial expression.<br /><br />It doesn't seem overly difficult to be able to read another person's facial expression or perhaps my experience or practice makes me more proficient in that area. Part of this involves eye contact. I get very nervous with someone who doesn't make eye contact with me. What are they trying to hide? Self conscious people have difficulty making eye contact and this can often be misread as rudeness or disinterest. Some people also believe that when people are not being truthful they are not able to maintain eye contact. A good sociopath probably can fool us though.<br /><br />When you are speaking with someone you can usually tell how interested they are by how they maintain eye contact, nod their head, or hold a stationary position. I've witnessed people walk away as you are trying to talk and engage them and if this happens it's fairly certain they are not interested in what you are saying so stop trying.<br /><br />People are not that difficult to read if you take the time to observe their behavior. Of course you can make some wrong guesses but it's also possible you might have some success at surmising a person's mood or intent. Isn't that sort of true of animals too? When a dog wags its tale doesn't that mean he's probably friendly? Unfortunately people do not have a tail to wag and don't usually bite.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-5698616511991868372009-09-14T20:41:00.007-04:002009-09-14T21:11:42.905-04:00Walter Mitty's WorldI do not know if I am boring but I can tell you I am hardly ever bored. Somehow a very long time ago I learned how to keep my mind busy. Maybe I'm simple minded but it apparently doesn't take much to amuse me. I don't mind being alone. I'm not a lonely person.<br /><br />It certainly helps that I enjoy reading so my mind is often occupied reading something even if it is just the back of the cereal box. My curiosity tends to keep my mind active as well as possessing a healthy imagination<br />.<br />Visually I'm always scanning, noticing the environment surrounding me. I admit to being an avid people watcher, not critical more quizzical. In airports, I'll make up little stories about people, where they might be going and extrapolate regarding their traveling companions<br />.<br />I'll make a further distinction that my mind is not obsessed with worried thoughts. Actually there is a large portion of randomness and free association that often prevails. I'm always having internal conversations with myself and humor is often on the edge of whatever thoughts my mind generates. I'm not afraid of my thoughts and just about anything is fair game. Once in awhile I shock myself but since it is just me and my thoughts I'm not likely to get myself in any trouble as long as I know it's not reality.<br /><br />The difficult task is to remain in the" here and now " and to be careful not to over intellectualize. Being present is a wonderful place to be and life can be as interesting as I choose to make it.So I may be a bit of a day dreamer at times but that does not mean that I am preoccupied with my own thoughts to the extent I miss what is going on.<br /><br />Okay, so I know I'm a bit weird sometimes......but usually harmless.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-52296321193382744072009-09-04T21:43:00.004-04:002009-09-04T22:10:29.250-04:00Flash from the pastNot everyone is engaged to technology. There are more and more people though regardless of age who are growing more comfortable with using the computer for recreational purposes. I have a few acquaintances who use their computer all day at work and so do not really have much of an interest in sitting in front of the screen and keyboard to catch up with friends on facebook or blog. "Not everyone has a blog. Oh really?"<br /><br />I recently ran across a site which involved the hometown I grew up in and there were several people on facebook that I was able to remember from my childhood and from the old neighborhood. It was great fun catching up. This led to my coming upon a site for my old high school where you just type in the year you graduated and "poof" there it all is. Many female classmates that married no longer have their maiden name anymore but with a little detective work I was able to determine that one of my friends from high school was listed. We grew up together all the way back in grammar school and used to occasionally engage in our own form of mischief and rights of passage. We pierced eachother's ears and she taught me how to shave my legs for the first time.<br /><br />I decided to take a chance and contact her via facebook and it was her. We grew apart as friends around 7th or 8th grade when she began to hang around with a much older group of kids and I had not quite gained that level of maturity or interest yet in the opposite sex. We were always friendly towards each other but just began to move in different circles. These things happen. She never attended any of the high school reunions that I managed to get to so there was always a bit of mystery about how her life might have turned out. When I would get together with old friends whom I remained close with since childhood invariably her name would come up when we would talk about old times but no one knew what happened to our old friend Gloria.<br /><br />Now we have begun to catch up a bit with each other and I have also given her the names of a few of our old pals on facebook and we're all connecting again. Her life is not any different than mine, the usual work, kids, family, etc. Nostalgia is a great thing. We're talking about maybe arranging to meet for lunch with a few other old friends when my travel plans include a trip "home".gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-41777617102657191852009-08-31T20:08:00.004-04:002009-08-31T20:28:22.752-04:00True or False?A Blogger friend at http://thunderfromaquietstorm.blogspot.com recently received a tag to post 5 quirky characteristics about himself that are outlandish but true and one of those is false. Despite pleas,you are never supposed to divulge which one is false. Here are mine, there are many others too numerous to mention:<br /><br />1. I was once engaged to my best friend's brother.<br />2. I am geographically challenged, cannot name all the united states nor their proper locations.<br />3. When I was a small child I went thru a phase where all I would eat was tuna fish.<br />4. I can whistle thru my fingers.<br />5. I have a tattoo of a Husky dog on my butt.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-38399943834593708212009-08-10T20:38:00.003-04:002009-08-31T20:30:29.536-04:00She Doesn't Travel LightI'm not one to throw a few things in an overnight bag and breeze out the door for a weekend getaway. All contingencies must be prepared for; warm weather or cool temps, rain or sunshine. Every ensemble must be planned with matching accessories and shoes of course.<br /><br />I have improved though with mixing and matching specific color schemes. Sometimes I'll choose a few basic neutral color pieces of clothing and then build around those, however then layering becomes a challenge. I seem to get carried away. Must have short sleeves and long sleeves, be prepared for changes in the weather and temperature fluctuations.<br /><br />My exasperated mate wobbles his pate with resignation and hides the involuntary eye roll so as not to display disdain, but more likely a restrained sentiment of confusion."Why do you need to bring so much stuff ?" My lament is "I just have to!"<br /><br />If I wear a red jersey I must have matching shoes. Doesn't everyone? I have a female friend who shares the same affliction and we understand each other while our husbands feel like lackeys or porters wrestling multiple suitcases. My lady friend and I compliment each other on our attire as we merrily go on our way to buy more shoes while the men go golfing. Hey they tote those big golf bags around so what's the difference.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-72501334219159418892009-07-27T20:37:00.009-04:002009-07-27T21:13:50.390-04:00One Year Anniversary of BloggingIt's amazing how fast a year can come and go. The one year anniversary of my blog has arrived and I am making note of the occasion to reflect back on some of the year's activities.<br />The first post I wrote was "Ten Things I Dislike About Brad and Angelina". I haven't changed my mind about anything I wrote that day yet some of my cohorts were a bit taken aback by my vitriolic display of negativity. I guess one of my reasons for starting the blog was to have my own forum to say what ever I wanted and that is basically what I've been doing. You can't write honestly if you care too much what other people think.<br />I haven't been able to observe any trends or themes which I was somewhat surprised about really. There appears to be attempts at a sense of humor which probably took a bit of effort to compose. I'm not known for my spontaneous wit but there are times when I think I'm quite funny. My post about "License Plate Slogans" had some humor to it as did "Innies and Outies and "My List of Lists".<br />When I decided to initiate my blog the title "Confessions Of A Hope Fiend" was borrowed from Timothy Leary's book of the same title . I do see myself mostly as an optimist and wanted to express some of my thoughts, feelings, and ideas. It was never my intent really to write for anyone else except myself. If you start to allow yourself to get too distracted by what other people think about your writing it changes things. I think I've stayed rather true to that but admittedly my candor is more on the mild side and I haven't taken that many risks. This has lead me to consider starting a third blog and keeping that totally anonymous but already having two blogs seems like it takes up enough of my time already without devoting more of my free time to the keyboard.<br />There really is no difference between "gaf 85" and "Confessions Of A Hope Fiend" they could probably be consolidated into one blog but since they are separate I 'm just going to leave it that way.<br />I've met some truly nice people whom I admire, especially their creativity, and honest self disclosure. It takes all kinds and I have enjoyed reading a cross section of other people's blogs.I still visit other blogs randomly from time to time however most of my activity revolves around the other bloggers who read my posts and I in turn read there's, basically forming a loose group of associates.<br /> To all of you I say thank-you for all your constructive comments and sincerity in your responses to my posts. I guess I'll keep doing this awhile longer until I get bored with it at some point.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-52639542255176960592009-07-25T11:29:00.005-04:002009-07-25T12:11:25.847-04:00incongruityWhile I'm out and about doing errands one of my usual stops is Walmart. Many people criticize their business practices and employing people for minimum wage keeping them under full time hours and not having to provide benefits. This is not what this post is about.<br /><br />I live in St. Lawrence County which is rather rural, off the beaten path, with individuals tending to be hearty souls who brave very challenging winter weather and then are rewarded with (mostly) amazing summers and the Adirondack mountains in their backyard. There are a few subcultures including old hippies escaping the city life in the fast lane and enjoy hiking and the outdoors. Many of the locals continue to maintain small family dairy farms. Unemployment is staggeringly momentous and many young people leave the area for college and upon graduation choose somewhere else to live due to the lack of jobs. There are a few colleges in the area which at least provides some culture and opportunities. We also have an extraordinary number of prisons. What better place to dump society's miscreants.<br /><br />As I ramble on here and make my point, we have a large Amish population which most of the local people are used to seeing on a fairly regular basis and are very casual about their presence in the community. Motorists slow their cars down not so much to gawk but to give them a little extra safe distance to steer their horse and buggy down the road. For awhile they were patronizing a little convenience store a few miles away and the owner of the store asked them to shovel the horse droppings while parked in the lot. Apparently a misunderstanding developed and the poops were not picked up so the owner banned them from his parking lot. It made the local newspaper. I think alot of people thought the Amish should pick up their horses's crap.<br /><br />Since I am a regular but guilty patron of the big box store known as Walmart the first time I observed the Amish in Walmart I was a bit taken aback. What could they possibly be buying? Let's face it most everything in the store reeks of consumerism and plastic which seems counter to their basic beliefs of rejecting modern society.Although curious, I kept a respectful casual distance, not making direct eye contact. There was a teenage Amish boy wearing a straw hat in the greeting card section checking out the wrapping paper and bows. What occasion could possibly warrant his interest? They don't observe any "English" holidays I am aware of so who knows what that's about until a little while later I encountered an older Amish women whose age I could not discern because her bonnet shielded most of her face and she was in the aisle looking at pain relievers, Tylenol and Motrin. So was I. I need my Tylenol Arthritis to keep some of my aches and pains at bay as needed. She did not seem unfamiliar with the products and knew what she was doing so I guess Amish people medicate with over the counter medicine.<br /><br />I wonder if they scoop their horse's poop out of the parking lot while visiting Walmart or if some young kid who chases the shopping carts has to go out there with a shovel and perform the task? I bet the young kids who take turns out in the parking lot fight over whose turn it is to remove the equine droppings?gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6544451308346181681.post-10243989891630829342009-07-14T19:44:00.014-04:002009-07-18T16:49:32.923-04:00Everyone is from somewhereThere are a multitude of reasons why people move from one location to another just as there is a myriad of reasons some people choose to live close to where they were born. Society of course is now much more mobile and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">international</span> involving patterns of migration and immigration. Oops, we're talking about humans here not animals.<br /><br />I grew up in the suburbs of Boston, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Massachusetts</span>, which while a kid I assumed was the center of the universe. I lived within a small community which was rather homogeneous with few visible signs of minorities, religious, cultural or otherwise. I was aware that certain ethnic groups had their predictable <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">stereotyping</span>, however grew up somewhat insulated within a Catholic upbringing where most people were of European descent. It was only later in life that I began to realize how self reinforcing it can be living amongst the same type of people as myself with only small amounts of variance. Middle class people living in a similar environment can be rather featureless in the larger picture of things.<br /><br />When people make a decision to move away from what's familiar to them they take the inherent risk of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">experiencing</span> something different than what they might be used to.It may involve a job opportunity somewhere else, moving to a different climate, or being near (or away) from family.Relationships may also be a factor, wanting to live near someone we love or the hope of romance and socialization.<br /><br />Such a melting pot our country has become, although I'm fairly certain there remain some isolated areas that do not experience much change. When moving into a new community it is an adjustment trying to figure out how the locals do things. I'm a dead give away because of my accent. I often get comments "you're not from around here are you?" When I encounter people who grew up in the south I often have a difficult time understanding them if they have a thick accent. I think it is probably challenging for southerners to move to other areas of the country without being noticed as talking different. I think I kind of know how they feel. It must also be rather noticeable when a "Yankee" moves down south.<br /><br />Do people ever develop that deep sense of loyalty and identification to a region they move to in adulthood after growing up somewhere else? Although I have resided in northern New York for 24 years I still feel like a transplant and unless you were born and raised "here" you'll always be considered an outsider by people who have generational longevity. So when someone asks me where I'm from I say I live in northern New York but grew up in the suburbs of Boston.gaf85http://www.blogger.com/profile/07366611063698368921noreply@blogger.com3