Saturday, May 16, 2009

DestiNation NoWhere

Lawn mowers are a special breed. They don't seem to care or register that they never go anywhere. Maybe they think they do but they don't. Endlessly steering their machines, lining up their tracks, being ever so careful not to leave a patch unmowed, striving for perfect symmetry.

It seems to be irrelevant the size of the real estate. Having a ride on is the prize of perfection. Why should a modest patch be hand mowed when a ride on can do it . Did John Deere fantasize as a young boy about inventing the most powerful mower with the most elaborate accessories? How many men though have fantasized owning a John Deere? Not, Hugh Hefner, I bet.

There appears to be artistry involved in how one mows. Whether to mow in vertical lines perpendicular to the driveway or horizontal to the walkway. Evaluating how close to mow to the shrubs which might then require an additional pass with the weed wacker. Must like noise, looks like a motorized serpent's tongue.

Hiring a landscaping company takes the joy out of getting out there on a hot sunny day, shirt off if your're a guy(?), not bothering with sun screen because that's for wimps. Stopping every once in awhile for a cold one and sitting on the porch surveying the artistry of the patterns made with the blades with a sense of pleasure, accomplishment and satisfaction.

Some may complain about how fast the turf grows but secretly they can't wait to mount the lawn mower and repeat the same activity. If it rains on the day there were plans to mow the lawn and having to remain inside gazing out at the unshorn green knowing it will grow even longer from the rain. Can't wait to get out there. Kill some time messing around in the garage hoping the rain will inevitably pass.

Maybe buying some cows or sheep would eliminate the need for a lawn mower. Or here is a radical idea; maybe just let the grass grow wild. Are you crazy or something! Letting the grass get too tall allows the snakes to hide in there. Never mind that was a bad idea.

A few miles away closer to town there were several neighbors who grew rather irate about this radical thinking guy who wanted to have his front yard resemble a wild field . The town actually became involved and issued a summons to court for creating an unsafe visual obstacle blocking clear line of sight for vehicles trying to see oncoming traffic at the corner of his lot. It took several months for the town board to rule that they couldn't make the guy mow his grass. Several weeks later when no one seemed to be around one of the town contractors went and mowed the guy's lawn. The saga has continued and now we will have new debate as lawn growing and mowing season is upon us.


underOvr (aka The U) said...

Hello my friend,

I thought I would visit and see what you were up to. Have you seen The movie?

As a young man, I enjoyed the craft of lawn mowing, edging the lawn and trimming hedges. I even went out and purchased a riding mower once but couldn't get past the notion that it was too bourgeois, so I eventually returned it.

I no longer concern myself with thoughts of being labelled bourgeois, mowing lawns or the craft of landscaping. I have embraced the pleasure of knowing someone else will perform that task (for a small fee). The old saying, "don't muzzle the ox to keep it from eating while it treads out the wheat" seems apropos with regards to labor for hire.

Today I ventured into the blogsphere but I am not uncomfortable with the break I decided to take; I do have an objective (you know how driven Type A's can be).

I hope all is well with you. Thanks for providing me a moment of relaxation and folly.


Amy said...

You have to admit the lawn mowing crew at Fenway takes it to an artistic level, especially when they mow the logo into the grass or lay out a plaid pattern!

My "lawn" looks like we have a goat chewing on it, but we don't. At least not yet.

gaf85 said...

U, Yes, I saw Star Trek and I am giving it a thumbs up!
Some might not be able to let go of the reins of the lawnmower easily but you seemed to have no problem.
I hope your writing and manuscript continues to go well.

Amy, I think it would be hilarious if you had a goat in your backyard. I've often wondered if people would ever go to extreme lengths to mow a logo into the lawn.