Friday, October 24, 2008

Halloween is not Christmas

Where did anyone get the idea to decorate the front of their house with orange pumpkin lights? Stuffed scarecrows,carved jack o' lanterns,ghosts and a few ghouls all okay. Not okay,blow up dolls. I mean the ones that are those large objects in the shapes of Halloween figures like witches and skeletons. Where did people get the idea to put these monstrosities out on their front lawn? I don't like them at Christmas either when there are reindeers pulling Santa's sleigh,etc.When I leave my house I drive by several of these displays wondering why the people living there think this is decorative. Why not blow up other things and put those on the front lawn too. Oh I forgot they also do this at Easter with a big rabbit or for some odd reason Winnie the Pooh or Peanut's characters.Yes,people have a right to put anything that is not"objectionable" or in bad taste out in their yards but that seems to be a matter of taste. Now when people put pink flamingos out there it is supposed to be in good fun which most of us understand,but what about those figurines of Shepard girls in frilly outfits minding their sheep? Then there are the old lady's bent over showing their bottoms and little boys peeing. I'm not making this up unless I have been living in the Twilight Zone which at times might be entirely possible. I've also seen silhouettes of mysterious "cowboys" with one leg bent leaning against the garage.Has anyone noticed that their seems to be a new craze of mounting nautical stars on their house and shutters? Are they waiting for a cruise ship to go by or what? Riding around once in awhile I have seen these angel ornaments mounted on people's homes which must signify some type of religious message.
I think people should actually get those blow up dolls and stage a porn scene for the neighbors to really enjoy.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Texting in Haiku

I used to believe it was only the "20 somethings" who texted each other until I realized how it was another way of communicating and keeping in touch. Don't misunderstand ,I think it is very annoying when people answer their cell phone when I, who is the most important individual that the world revolves around is trying to have a conversation here (lol).
Sometimes texts are random but then I began to notice there was something else occurring. You often have to think of an abbreviated version of your message,succinct,concise when you are attempting to compose what you are trying to convey.I am not suggesting that Haiku is not a much appreciated art form in it's own simple way so beautiful.

Could you please call home
have not heard from you lately
Let's catch up on things


I work thru lunch and
bring something to eat at my
desk by saving time


You sound like a guy
No I'm just married to one
That is so funny


That guy is a jerk
he takes me to nice places
don't be a loser


U R very sweet
thank you for helping me out
no problem,peace out


Dad is on his way
when will he be arriving
not sure,pick me up


Saturday, October 11, 2008

Navigating The Linguistic "Mindfield" Of Political Correctness

What can I say? Or more importantly, what can I not say? I fear I have been slowly tippy toeing into the nether world of resorting to euphemisms . There are numerous examples,too many to list. Sometimes we may not know when we have said something offensive until the PC police arrive to take us away.Usually I will try to be somewhat tolerant of other people's step into that mindfeild unless they are repeat offenders. It isn't necessary to lecture either. It is hard to know all the rules.Is their a guide somewhere?
There are some fairly obvious ones that should be avoided. You may mistakenly refer to someone else's race or cultural background in an uncomplimentary way. There are still parts of the country where people still utter the "n word". It can be addressed in a diplomatic comment of "I don't think they like to be called that anymore perhaps referring to them as African American might be more appropriate". Native Americans no longer wish to be called Indians. The word retarded is no longer used and instead you must say developmentally disabled or cognitively limited. Dirty old man are now referred to as pedophiles. Dirty old women are cougars.
We have all encounter our share of jerks or idiots. They now wish to be referred to as people lacking social skills. When it comes to family matters and relationships there is subtlety in the way you must refer to unmarried individuals occupying the same dwelling as significant others and if you have a child born out of wedlock your are a single parent. My mother had her on lingo and it was called shacking up. In the 1960's if you had an illegitimate baby it was called a love child. If you are a stepparent you are the nonbiologocal parent. If you are in a long term same sex relationship you may be living with your life partner.
Now that I've probably offended about 50 percent of the population let's have a go with the rest then shall we. When you encounter an accomplished outspoken women there may be some who mutter unkind words under their breath "b-otch" but perhaps she is just being an assertive women.
Individuals of short stature assert they no longer approve of being called midgets and prefer the term little person or dwarf.Perhaps unattractive people should now be called esthetically challenged. A long time ago people that drank too much were drunks now we call them alcohol abusers as are junkies called chemically dependent self medicators. It was never nice to call emotionally disturbed people raving lunatics or crazy it is much nicer to refer to them as mentally ill.When we encounter an aggressive driver we describe them as suffering from road rage needing anger management training classes. I think I will just stick to calling them anal orifices. So if any of you like to gossip you can now call yourself information disseminaters. And anyone who lacks a sense of humor can sign up as watchdog for the PC Police. When you are writing words rather than speaking your words you are an author. This author may have to go hide out for a few days in case they are looking for me. The names have been changed to protect the innocent and the author was definitely under the influence and not in her right mind and will claim insanity.