Wednesday, February 3, 2010


I believe our minds can sometimes play a cruel trick on some of us. Memories can represent a slippery slope of inaccuracy. There are many fond memories I have of my years past but sometimes I wonder if over time they have morphed into my own version of reality rather than what really took place.

Face Book has been an opportunity to re-connect with old friends and share memories of the good times growing up and commonality of experiences. But was it or is it really the good ol' days or just what my mind permits me to remember? Granted, I do have some painful memories of an awkward childhood, most of us do to some degree, I guess. But remembering the fun times is definitely where I'd rather be.

We lose touch with our pals from a long time ago and there are often muddled reasons why, but people do drift at certain stages of their lives mostly because of different pursuits and life choices. We are not the same people we once were. (Thank goodness for that, REALLY!)

So what was I like as a child? Definitely not a younger version of who I am now as an adult. I enjoyed a very active imagination which most likely involved a certain degree of escapism from family dysfunction. That is sometimes a painful subject but what I know is that over coming adversity can often become triumph. I do not think many of us had a perfect family life growing up and those who had something near that did not necessarily become a predictor of stability or achievement either.

I was fortunate to grow up in a safe neighborhood where every one watched out for one another and children could play freely without worry. If we got hurt it was usually because we did something crazy or stupid. I remember spending alot of time playing outside with the other children and it involved alot of physical activity that constitutes "play". Do kids even know these days what play really is?

Emotions play a major role in what we choose to remember. Unresolved issues, sometimes referred to as baggage can weigh us down but awareness of what we each struggle with and our tendencies can be a useful tool towards self understanding and self acceptance.

I've read this over now and it sounds like a term paper for some Psych 101 course on Personality and Development. That was not my intent. I've just been thinking alot lately about past memories and sometimes find myself drifting into troubled waters. Could it just be my own existential journey of defining who I am or what I have turned out to be? For now though, I think I'll just enjoy reuniting with some old friends on FB and regale each other with funny things we did and trouble we got into, and maybe just leave it at that for now if at all humanly possible.


Madame DeFarge said...

wv is Priest - strange. Anyway, I lose touch with people all the time, some intentionally, some through sliding past them without thinking. But I rather like living my life in the moment and not in the past, being tied down to an image of what I was and not what I am.

underOvr (aka The U) said...


It's taken me a while to comtemplate this post and offer my personal thoughts on this topic.

I believe we as children don't look at life through the same eyes as our adult versions. Experience, hardships, hurts and love all serve to shape and alter our personal view of life.

I think there may be those who think that life for them was idyllic but we each face some degree of flawed existence.

I grew up in an area of crime and violence. As a child, I have a vivid memory of seeing a dead body for the first time. When I think of it, I remember the stench and yet, I was still drawn to look at a man whose life was taken.

Life for me was shaped by that experience because I saw how the lack of respect for life reflected in the actions of people who commanded respect.

It was not easy for me to learn the concept of trust and respect but I believe I gained an appreciation for life and a respect for others as a result.

I do not stay in touch with those from my childhood. By the time I reached adulthood, many of my childhood friends had succumbed to death, drugs, crime or imprisonment. Choice for me, dictates the path of one's life.

I do not find myself looking nostalgically back at my youth and so my life focus tends to be now and now. I remind myself that I can plan for the future but plans can get derailed. I enjoy the life I live and that for me is a choice. The people who hold importance for me shape my life and my view of it.

Now you see why it took me so long. I didn't want to write a treatise but I fault you for raising this topic for discussion.

Hope you enjoy your vacation.